BREAKING NEWS: Every clothing company on the planet has decided to follow the footsteps of Nike and endorse Colin Kaepernick. Many companies noticed the drastic increase in attention to Nike, once the company unveiled their campaign promoting Kaepernick. All these companies quickly jumped the gun, launching their own product campaigns around the superstar. Little did they know what backlash it would cause in a few communities.
Firstly, there are many viral videos of individuals cutting off the Nike logo from their clothes, even burning their Nike shoes while still wearing them in protest of the company. Many of these individuals swore to never purchase Nike products again. Now that every clothing company endorses Kaepernick, these protesters have no other option to run around naked.
“None of these companies deserve my money!” shouted Billy, a protester we interviewed. “I was one of the first to burn my Nike clothes, and now that all these companies are tagging along, I burned all my other clothes too–nearly set my frickin’ house on fire!”
These individuals are so lavished by their beliefs, they swore to a life of nudity to prove a point to these companies until Kaepernick was removed from the ads.
“It’s either go against my beliefs or run around naked and don’t give any of those companies a cent of my money–we’ll see who gets the last laugh!”